We all have things we remember. People and places, and things we love. Some experiences are forgotten but others never leave us. I had the ultimate lesson in how to be a good parent and in turn a good person when I was in preschool. I was three or four, it is hard to say for sure, and one day I was able to do something different for my lunch.
My Grandma Shirley and Grandpa Buddy picked me up to take me out for lunch. It was a treat for me because I loved them very much. They took me for a short drive ending at a local cafeteria style eatery, which i remember was very tasty.
They let me pick my own food, which is a very big deal for a child. Remember to the first time you were ever allowed to order your own food, its amazing how good a child can feel with just that little extra privilege. I see it every time my oldest is told to pick what she wants at our usual restaurants. She gets so happy but quickly puts her game face on as she tells the waitress what she wants.
On this day the most important part of my meal they let me choose was my dessert. It was the dessert that stuck out the most and made the afternoon memorable for me. There were many things to choose from but what caught my eye was the Jello. It was green Jello to be exact. You might see this as lime but my child self insisted that its color and flavor were one and the same, sort of like NyQuil but tasty.
My grandparents didn't see a need to correct my mistake. To them my green Jello was just what I said it was, and they repeated to the lady what I had asked for, the green Jello. They sat me down and even let me eat my Jello first. That's My first memory. It is a pretty simple, straight forward and ordinary.
But to me it was far from ordinary. To a child, and I even see this with my own children, the smallest kindness can make all the difference in ordinary and extraordinary. The funny thing is that now, as an adult, I can't stand lime or lime flavored anything. That day there was more to the enjoyment of my green Jello than taste alone. Even though I was a child and didn't understand it then, the event with them made a lasting impression and taught me everything I need to know to be a good father, a good husband and a good person.
To be all these good things all one needs to know is this. A child will always be a child and see the world through a child's eyes. There is magic to being a child. Everything is fresh and new. We as adults try and put too much on them and want our children to grow up too fast. Just let children be children and guide them on their way.
This is the way we as adults can recapture the magic of being children ourselves. Letting our little ones free to discover the world in their own way and time lets us enter that vision of the world again. With kindness and compassion we can all live better lives in this world we share. It was only Jello but it taught me so much more than that. I loved my grandparents very much and I am sad to see them leave us so soon. At least I will always have my green Jello.
I bring up this beautiful memory I have of my grandparents because of this. One, it is a story I like to tell. It helps me to remember two people I love that are gone now. But, this story also gives me hope. Hope that maybe one day my girls or even their own children might have a memory or two that I have given them so they may look back upon it when they are going through bad times. Something that can bring a smile back to there face and let them know that hope is never gone and the better times will return.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Zahra's Wings
It was late as they all met for the long ride to Hickory. They knew the ride might even take them into a storm tired and weary. But none of this mattered. There are things much more important than one's comfort or the hope for a great ride. Sometimes something happens so profound that it has the power to change hearts and drive action.
There was a small girl that touched their hearts. She had never known a life without adversity, plagued by sickness and disablement. But no matter what the world threw at her she always managed a smile and through that smile was able to bring light to the darkest day. It is with great sadness that she was taken from this world far too soon. Her light would shine no more. This wonderful person that they would never get to meet, who's story drove them and others to ride clear across the great state of North Carolina in this darkest night, would be a new found spark to continue the flame burning in their hearts.
They rode for Zahra Baker and rode for the countless other children that go through similar trials of abuse every day. No amount of discomfort, rain, or fatigue would equal the suffering of the children across the world who would love nothing more than to be taken by the hand and raised up from the dark times and shown a better way to exist. Poor Zahra would never get this chance. This is was a constant thought as they rode to Hickory.
They arrived wet and road weary. There were no complaints. There were riding with their brotherhood and were all of the same mind that there was a statement to be made. They woke the next morning, only being a few hours since they had laid down to rest. It was time to meet up with the rest of their crew and move on to the ride. Clouds and rain filled the sky. As the morning drew on, more and more people heard the call and came to ride for Zahra. As countless others showed, the clouds thinned. When it was time to roll out the sun shown through the heavens and bathed all these wonderful people in its light. It truly cemented that what was being accomplished this day was something special, and something far beyond simple words. Indeed the ride seemed to be truly blessed. There is a hope that Zahra was looking down to the gathering of people all in her name with a smile. Even in her death, she could look down at them and still have hope for the world that seemed to fail her at each turn.
No one involved with the ride should be ashamed of tears that were shed. All were saddened that nothing could have been done to make the ride unnecessary. At least through all the tears there would be a ray of hope that there would be at least one more hopeful child still in this world. This is why We ride with B.A.C.A. No ride is worth more than a ride in the name of a child. We come together under the common goal to prevent abused children from having to carry the poison of what was done to them, to make them feel safe again. We bring these sweet lost children into our family to help them find themselves again. We talk to them and console them, always explaining that although what happened to them was so very wrong, they are not the ones who wronged. We fight by the sides of our little brothers and sisters as they continue their own battles through the courts. If needed, we stand ready to provide our children with a safe and protected environment, ready to do anything for their safety and a peaceful rest.
We went into Zahra's memorial ride with this firmly in mind, but what Zahra placed in our souls was an urgency. An urgency that enough could never be done. It is a knowledge that I as well as my brothers and sisters in B.A.C.A. know too well. Until we are no longer needed we need to be there for each and every child who needs us. To do what is necessary to be that safe family they so desperately need. We will not relent. We will not be pacified. We are who we are. We are there for all abused children, even if their abuse has taken its final conclusion as with little Zahra Baker who I believe has become an angel, looking after those who would be forced to travel a similar road.
There was a small girl that touched their hearts. She had never known a life without adversity, plagued by sickness and disablement. But no matter what the world threw at her she always managed a smile and through that smile was able to bring light to the darkest day. It is with great sadness that she was taken from this world far too soon. Her light would shine no more. This wonderful person that they would never get to meet, who's story drove them and others to ride clear across the great state of North Carolina in this darkest night, would be a new found spark to continue the flame burning in their hearts.
They rode for Zahra Baker and rode for the countless other children that go through similar trials of abuse every day. No amount of discomfort, rain, or fatigue would equal the suffering of the children across the world who would love nothing more than to be taken by the hand and raised up from the dark times and shown a better way to exist. Poor Zahra would never get this chance. This is was a constant thought as they rode to Hickory.
They arrived wet and road weary. There were no complaints. There were riding with their brotherhood and were all of the same mind that there was a statement to be made. They woke the next morning, only being a few hours since they had laid down to rest. It was time to meet up with the rest of their crew and move on to the ride. Clouds and rain filled the sky. As the morning drew on, more and more people heard the call and came to ride for Zahra. As countless others showed, the clouds thinned. When it was time to roll out the sun shown through the heavens and bathed all these wonderful people in its light. It truly cemented that what was being accomplished this day was something special, and something far beyond simple words. Indeed the ride seemed to be truly blessed. There is a hope that Zahra was looking down to the gathering of people all in her name with a smile. Even in her death, she could look down at them and still have hope for the world that seemed to fail her at each turn.
No one involved with the ride should be ashamed of tears that were shed. All were saddened that nothing could have been done to make the ride unnecessary. At least through all the tears there would be a ray of hope that there would be at least one more hopeful child still in this world. This is why We ride with B.A.C.A. No ride is worth more than a ride in the name of a child. We come together under the common goal to prevent abused children from having to carry the poison of what was done to them, to make them feel safe again. We bring these sweet lost children into our family to help them find themselves again. We talk to them and console them, always explaining that although what happened to them was so very wrong, they are not the ones who wronged. We fight by the sides of our little brothers and sisters as they continue their own battles through the courts. If needed, we stand ready to provide our children with a safe and protected environment, ready to do anything for their safety and a peaceful rest.
We went into Zahra's memorial ride with this firmly in mind, but what Zahra placed in our souls was an urgency. An urgency that enough could never be done. It is a knowledge that I as well as my brothers and sisters in B.A.C.A. know too well. Until we are no longer needed we need to be there for each and every child who needs us. To do what is necessary to be that safe family they so desperately need. We will not relent. We will not be pacified. We are who we are. We are there for all abused children, even if their abuse has taken its final conclusion as with little Zahra Baker who I believe has become an angel, looking after those who would be forced to travel a similar road.
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